|
Question |
Real Answer |
Correct Answer |
Why did you leave your last job? |
It sucked. |
My talents and abilities were underutilized. |
What are your biggest weaknesses? |
I can't concentrate for more than five minutes, hate authority, and fall asleep at my desk. |
I'm a workaholic. I just don't know when to put down my work. |
You seem to have moved around a lot. Why should I think you'd stay here any longer than you've stayed elsewhere? |
My previous employers preferred to keep competent employees. |
I'm at a point in my career where I'm tired of moving around. I want to be part of a winning team where I can make a contribution. |
How do you handle change? |
I change everyday, unless I'm out of clean underwear. |
I believe that today the only constant is change and I thrive on it. |
How do you get along with others? |
I basically hate people. Keep them out of my face. |
The interpersonal dynamics of the work place are among the most satisfying aspects of any job. |
What does the word "success" mean to you? |
It means that I don't have to drag my sorry butt out of bed to kiss yours. |
Success for me is knowing I make a difference working on a team that makes a profitable enterprise. |
What does the word "failure" mean to you? |
It means I continue to collect unemployment, if I get my 6-month extension. |
Failure? I'm sorry, I don't know the meaning of that word. It's not in my vocabulary. |
How do you get along with your current boss? |
Fine, considering that he's a malicious jerk. |
I don't think of him as a boss, but more of a mentor. |
Do you ever get angry with your co-workers? |
No, I don't get angry – I get even. |
Nothing angers me more than to see a co-worker not pulling his weight. Sometimes that makes me angry. |
May I contact your references? |
Sure, but they don't know me. |
I'll arrange for them to contact you. |
What words best describe you? |
Genius, horny, dog, clock watcher, unorganized, lazy. |
Compassionate, creative, team player, organized, efficient. |