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Euphemisms for That
“Time of the Month”

Anal Sex Week

Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp

Aunt Flo’s in Town

Big Red

Bitchy Witchy Week


Bloody Mary

Blow Job Week

Calendar Days

Checking into the Red Roof Inn

Clean-Up in Aisle One

Closed for Business

Code Red

Communists in the Summer House

Crimson Tide

Dead week

Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy

Dracula's Tea Bag

End of Sentence

Executive Week

Falling to the Communists

Feelin’ Menstru-riffic!

Flying the Red Flag

Friend from the Red Sea

Game Day for the Crimson Tide

Hammock Season

Having the Painters In

Hummer Week

In Season

Lady Days

Lady in the Red Dress

Leak Week

Leaky Basement

Massacre at the Y

Miss Scarlett’s Come Home to Tara


Monthly Visitor

Moses is Parting the Red Sea

Mudslide in Crotch Canyon

My Cup of Joy is Overflowing

My Red-Headed Cousin from Down South

Nosebleed in Australia

Old Faithful

Ordering l’Omelette Rouge

Pad Straddling

Panty Painting

Panty Shields Up, Captain!

Planting Cotton

Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote’s Ragtime Band


Raining Down South

Raising the Japanese Flag

Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System

Red Dollar Days

Red Letter Day

Red Moon Rising

Red Ribbon Week

Red Rider's Revenge

Red River Blues

Red Sox are in Town

Red Thread in the Sowing Machine

Riding the Cotton Cowboy

Riding the Crimson Wave

Riding the Red Ball Special

Saddling Old Rusty

Seeing Red

Serving up the Womb Steak, Medium Rare

Shark Bait

Sitting on a Sock

Strings Attached

Surfing the Crimson Tide

Surfing the Crimson Wave

Taking Carrie to the Prom

The Bleedies

The Blobs

The Curse

The Dam has Burst

The Dark Week

The Hunt for Red October

The Kitty has a Nosebleed

The Misery

The Monkey has a Nosebleed

The Nuisance

The Painters Are In

The Playground's Muddy

The Red Flag Is Up

The Red Menace

The Scarlet Letter

Time to Change the Filter

T-minus 9 Months and Holding

Too Wet to Plow

Train Wreck

Trolling for Vampires

Vampire's Bag Lunch

Visit from Captain Bloodsnatch

Visit from the Cardinal

Weeping Womb

Wound of Eve that Never Heals

Wounded Clam