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21st Century Definitions

Adult

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

Beauty Parlor

A place where women curl up and dye.

Cannibal

Someone who is fed up with people.

Chickens

The only animals you eat before they’re born and after they’re dead.

Committee

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Dust

Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Egotist

Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Handkerchief

Cold storage.

Inflation

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

Mosquito

An insect that makes you like flies better.

Raisin

Grape with a sunburn.

Secret

Something you tell to one person at a time.

Skeleton

A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Tomorrow

One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Toothache

The pain that drives you to extraction.

Wrinkles

Something other people have. You have character lines

Yawn

An honest opinion openly expressed.