Things To Do at Walmart When You're Bored
As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized
and say, "Wow, magic!"
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray
air fresheners.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission
Impossible.
Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.
Go to the food court, buy a drink, and ask if they can put a
little umbrella in it.
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind
them. Do this until they leave the store.
Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they aren't looking.
Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then
yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on
lay away.
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
"PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section,
etc.
Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and
pick your nose.
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
as your playing field.
Play with the automatic doors.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking
it for a test drive.
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me
to your Twinkies."
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout
the day.
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bed department.
Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to
join.
Take bets on the battle from above.
Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn't buy it there say, "Hm... I thought
the customer was always right!"
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle
with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.
TP as much of the store as possible before they stop you.
Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you
can make.
Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and
turn the volume up to full blast.
Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in Housewares and see what happens.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along.
When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them
yelling "Red Rover."
When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the
fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something,
quickly make off with it without saying a word.
When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially
in thin aisles.
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
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