|
Pessimist |
You refuse the parachute because you might die on the jump anyway. |
Optimist |
You refuse the parachute because people have survived crashes just like this before and someone else will have a chance that way. |
Procrastinator |
You play a game of Monopoly for the parachute. |
Bureaucrat |
You order them to conduct a feasibility study on parachute use in multi-engine aircraft under Code Red conditions. |
Lawyer |
You charge one parachute for helping them sue the airline. |
Doctor |
You tell them you need to run more tests, then take the parachute in order to make your next appointment. |
Salesman |
You sell them the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of their friends and relatives who might like one too. |
Internal Revenue Service |
You confiscate the parachute along with their luggage, wallet, and gold fillings. |
Engineer |
You make another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss. |
Scientist |
You give them the parachute and ask them to send you a report on how well it worked. |
Mathematician |
You refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases. |
Philosopher |
You ask how they know the parachute actually exists. |
English major |
You explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions. |
Computer Science |
You design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could. |
Economics |
You plot a demand curve by asking them at regular intervals how much they would pay for a parachute. |
Psychoanalyst |
You ask them what the shape of a parachute reminds them of. |
Actor |
You tie them down so they can watch you develop the character of a person stuck on a falling plane without a parachute. |
Artist |
You hang the parachute on the wall and sign it. |
Environmentalist |
You refuse to use the parachute unless it is biodegradable. |
Sports Fan |
You start betting on how long it will take to crash. |
Auto Mechanic |
As long as you are looking at the plane engine, it works fine. |
Surgeon General |
You issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health. |
Tobacco Growers Association |
You explain that, despite a number of remarkable coincidences, studies show that jumping out of a plane is not harmful to your health. |