The Corporate Zodiac
Astrology tells us about you by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac
uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like
and dislike. But the Corporate Zodiac goes further: now we know
all about you simply by your job title!
TECHNOLOGY/MIS
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead
content to completely control everything that happens at your
workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying,
but who the heck can tell?! It is written that the Geeks shall
inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING
One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said
that 90% of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can
be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the
latest "ergo-dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know
what is really causing your "carpal tunnel!"
FINANCE
The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune
from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization;
combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority
of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.
HUMAN RESOURCES
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you
tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly
the only other person that does less work than marketing, you
are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a
haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter!
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/TEAM LEADS
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined
to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable
to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the
number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited
to marry other "Middle Managers," as everyone in your
social circle is a "Middle Manager."
SENIOR MANAGEMENT
Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined
to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable
to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the
number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited
to marry other "Senior Managers," as everyone in your
social circle is a "Senior Manager."
CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking
your own life. As a child, very few of you asked your parents
for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could
pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed
over for promotion, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
CONSULTANT/CONTRACTOR
Just three little numbers: 666.
MARKETING
You are ambitious, yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to
avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking
and socializing -- which pretty much equals your current job responsibilities.
Least compatible with Engineering.
SALES
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without
the degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless
someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to
avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate
on the big picture." Throughout your life, you'll seek admiration
for your golf game.
|