|
You get this one, the next one's on me. |
We won't be here long enough to get another round. |
I'll get this one; the next one's on you. |
Happy hour is about to end. Beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop. |
Hey, where's that friend of yours? |
I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position. |
What do you have on tap? |
What's cheap? |
Female: I'll have a glass of house white. |
I'm easy. |
Male: I'll have a glass of house white. |
I'm gay. |
Female: I'll have an Amaretto & OJ. |
I'm really easy. |
Male: I'll have an Amaretto & OJ. |
I'm really gay. |
Do you have any Sambuca? |
I want to make my friend really sick so we can all laugh at him in the morning. |
Male to female: Ever try a body shot? |
I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you. |
Female to male: Ever try a body shot? |
If this is how wild I am in the bar, can you imagine what I'll do to you in bed? |
Female: Can I just get a glass of water? |
I'm annoying but cute enough to get away with this. |
Male: Can I just get a glass of water? |
It's 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking an hour ago. Hell, probably spent half my paycheck in here last night, it is the least you can do for me. |
Female: I don't feel well; let's go home. |
You're paying more attention to your friends than to me. |
Male: I don't feel well; let's go home. |
I'm horny. |
Who's got the next round? |
I haven't bought a round in almost three years, but I am an expert at diverting attention. |
Male to male: Excuse me. |
Get the hell out of the way. |
Male to female: Excuse me. |
I am going to grope you now and blame it on the crowd. |
Female to male: Excuse me. |
Don't even think about groping me. Just get the hell out of my way. |
Female to female: Excuse me. |
Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You're certainly not all that, missy, coming in here dressed like a ho. And get your eyes off of my man or I'll slap you like the slut you are, bitch. |
That person looks really familiar. |
Have we had sex? |
Female: I don't have my ID on me. |
I'm 16. |
Male: I don't have my ID on me. |
I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a .4 after my last visit here. |
No, really, I'm OK to drive. |
I'm wasted and too embarrassed to have anybody see who I'm going home with. |
I'm not used to these darts. |
I can't throw anything smaller than a beer bottle when I'm this bombed. |
I've had like ten beers already. |
I've only had three; I just need an excuse to behave this way. |