You May Be from Missouri if
Every festival you attend is named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
Everyone in your family has been on a "float trip."
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but has six pages of sports. All the rest is local news.
The only spices you own are salt, pepper, and ketchup.
The phrase “I’m going to the Lake this weekend” has only one meaning.
To you, "Down South" means Arkansas.
To you, "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.
When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
You can’t think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
You carry jumper cables in your car and think that everyone should.
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You end your sentences with unnecessary prepositions, e.g., "Where's my coat at?"
You ever rode a school bus more over an hour each way.
You failed World Geography in school because you thought Cuba, Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana, Springfield, and Mexico were cities in Missouri. (And they are!)
You frequently see unoccupied cars idling in a parking lot, no matter the time of year.
You give directions by saying East, West, North and South, instead of right or left.
You had school classes canceled because of cold.
You had school classes canceled because of heat.
You had to switch your thermostat from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You install security lights on your house and garage but leave your doors unlocked.
You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Football.
You know if another Missourian is from the Boot Heel, Ozarks, Eastern, Middle or Western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.
You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.
You know several people who have hit a deer.
You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and the Warrenton Outlet Mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.
You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney, George Washington Carver and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.
You know what "Home of the Throwed Roll" means!
You know what’s supposed to be “knee-high by the Fourth of July.”
You know where “Party Cove” is.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You pronounce Missouri with an “ah” at the end.
You put your groceries in a "sack," instead of a "bag."
You see all the biggest bands …ten years after they were popular.
You think ethanol makes your truck run better.
You think I-44 is spelled and pronounced “farty-foar.” (St. Louis only.)
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
You think that “deer season” is a national holiday.
You think the biggest mistake JFK made was not keeping Stu Symington as his Vice President.
You went to skating parties as a kid…and had fun.
You’ll pay your kids college tuition… unless they want to go to KU.
You’ve never met a celebrity.
You’ve said, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.”
You’ve seen people wear bib overalls to funerals.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
Your kids get out of school for the opening day of trout season.
You've seen farmers stop work and remove their hat as a funeral passes by.
You actually get these jokes and send your friends this link!